I am an introvert... through and through. I would rather spend time reading a book in the bath then out shopping with the girls. I would rather watch a TV show completely alone then to have a preview party. Some popular writers have characterized introverts as people whose energy tends to expand through reflection and dwindle during interaction.
Sunday morning is a great time to worship with my church family and reconnect with people who I have not seen through out the week. Sunday morning is also very draining on my introvert soul. I am the preachers wife and everyone knows who I am and I am expected to know everyone. I am expected to say hello, ask about their families, and answer questions about upcoming events and activities both in church and in my family. I really and truly do love the people who I worship with and who share life with me. Sunday morning is just very draining. I am ready to go home put on my yoga pants and get involved in a craft or some mindless TV, maybe even a nap. I need that time on a Sunday afternoon to revamp my energies and prepare for Sunday night.
The only problem is my husband and daughter who are met with all the same expectations as I am flourish in these situations. talking to people and sharing and reconnecting amp them up and they are full of energy by the time we get home from church. Alivia is bubbly and bouncy and ready to play and eat and share about all the glorious things that she learned in extended session. Michael is walking around bellowing praise songs from the service making lunch and wanting to do and entire play by play of the sermon. I want my yoga pants.
Sometimes I feel like a "bad Christian" because instead of coming from worship feeling joyful and ready for the week I am more drained then before I started. I have realized however that this is who God made me and that is good enough. I don't have to be like everyone else is. It's okay if I find more comfort and connection to God from singing along to Christian radio in the care. I am who God made me and knows what will bring me peace and comfort. I just have remember that I am good enough just the way I am and I need to make sure I find some peace for myself.
