Finding Peace

I am an introvert... through and through.  I would rather spend time reading a book in the bath then out shopping with the girls.  I would rather watch a TV show completely alone then to have a preview party.  Some popular writers have characterized introverts as people whose energy tends to expand through reflection and dwindle during interaction. 
Sunday morning is a great time to worship with my church family and reconnect with people who I have not seen through out the week.  Sunday morning is also very draining on my introvert soul.  I am the preachers wife and everyone knows who I am and I am expected to know everyone. I am expected to say hello, ask about their families, and answer questions about upcoming events and activities both in church and in my family.  I really and truly do love the people who I worship with and who share life with me.  Sunday morning is just very draining.  I am ready to go home put on my yoga pants and get involved in a craft or some mindless TV, maybe even a nap.  I need that time on a Sunday afternoon to revamp my energies and prepare for Sunday night. 
The only problem is my husband and daughter who are met with all the same expectations as I am flourish in these situations. talking to people and sharing and reconnecting amp them up and they are full of energy by the time we get home from church.  Alivia is bubbly and bouncy and ready to play and eat and share about all the glorious things that she learned in extended session.  Michael is walking around bellowing praise songs from the service making lunch and wanting to do and entire play by play of the sermon.  I want my yoga pants.
Sometimes I feel like a "bad Christian" because instead of coming from worship feeling joyful and ready for the week I am more drained then before I started.  I have realized however that this is who God made me and that is good enough.  I don't have to be like everyone else is. It's okay if I find more comfort and connection to God from singing along to Christian radio in the care.  I am who God made me and knows what will bring me peace and comfort.  I just have remember that I am good enough just the way I am and I need to make sure I find some peace for myself. 

This is actually working!!!

I have lost 7 pounds in 19 days... that is pretty amazing I woke up this morning an weight in at 250.00 I started this thing at 257.00 considering I did strict diet and exercise for 2 months before and didn't loose an ounce... oh yeah and I have only walked twice this whole time..  Ok ay that is all.  I just need to rejoice with you all!!

Cauli-freado

As most of you know I am doing a modified Whole30.  So far it has been great I have lost 4 lbs and my bloating has greatly decreased.  I feel better and have figured out the things that I want to eat and the things to stay away from.  One of the hardest things I have faced is small group.  We eat together every Friday night for diner and it is delish!!! we usually eat very unhealthy choices much less things that Whole30 compliant.  Last Friday we had Italian food.  I made some Whole30 compliant food for me to eat so I didn't feel left out of the yumminess.  I will give you the recipe for the Cauli-freado  that I made and put over spaghetti squash.  Let me tell you this is so yummy that I would eat it even without the Whole30 program happening!!


8 large cloves of garlic minced
2 tablespoons butter
5-6 cups of cauliflower florets (I used one large head)
6-7 cups of veggie broth/chicken broth/ water
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/2 cup whole milk or heavy whipping cream
1 6oz bag finely graded parmesan cheese ( the original recipe doesn't call for this but it gives it that real alfreado flavor and I find it necessary)

1. Sauté minced garlic in utter over low heat until the garlic is soft but not browned
2. Boil cauliflower for 7-10 minuets or until fork tender in the broth/water
3. Drain cauliflower keep back 2 cups of broth/water.
4. Add all ingredients to blender including 1 cup of the liquid and blend until it is a smooth puree

Yeah baby!!!

...In the words of Lucas (one of the little guys I watch during the week)  I have lost 3.4 pounds this week with my new diet changes!!  They aren't as hard as I first thought they would be I have quickly found what I like and what I don't.  Last night was my real triumph.  We had small group and that usually means lots and lots of not so good and dessert.  I ate a burger with no bun a ton of my roasted broccoli and some apple slices and for dessert I had some enjoy life cookies while my friends ate homemade ice cream and brownies. This is least I have weighed since I was pregnant with my dear daughter.  I am excited to see what next week brings!

Big Things Are Happening at the Dawson's house!!

I have big news to share with you guys...I'm preg.... nah just kidding! he he he... No, for real... you are looking at the new Sr. Minister and His family at Westside Church of Christ!  We got voted in by a  93% passing margin! 

 

Over all that means we are going to raise our children, grow old, and die happy and loved here in Lebanon, Ohio.  This takes a lot off my chest and makes me very excited to plan for our future.  Speaking of future, we got to work on our house this weekend.  I finished up some art projects for decoration, made a decision on window coverings, and my awesome husband painted one coat on all the trim (we have lots of trim).

 

 

I know what you are all wanting to know is how is my diet going... well I had more egg muffins for breakfast Sunday and for lunch we wanted to celebrate our good news so we went for Mexican.  I had a taco salad which was delish and I only ate a few bites of the bowl.  It made me sick then we went t a bonfire for our church youth group that evening and I hate 2 hot dogs bun and all and I was feel pretty miserable and gassy.  today I have been game on.  Breakfast...you guessed it more egg muffins, lunch was Tilapia, a spinach salad and a sweet potato with some honey and cinnamon, dinner is going to be a bratwurst and some saw zucchini and carrots.  I have not weighed myself yet but plan on weight Saturday.  I am feeling really good today, lots of energy and WAY less cravings.  So far so good and I will keep you updated!

 

It's 3:00 Somewhere

I hit a wall at 3:00.  I am ready for a nap or a really sweet snack to sugar me up and help me get through the rest of the day.  I can tell it is 3:00 just by the way I feel....lethargic grouchy and hungry but not in a "Oh my, I really want broccoli way".  Since today is first day of eating well I am blogging instead of eating.. not nearly as satisfying but it will have to do.  Today for breakfast I made some paleo egg muffins!  Can I just tell you they were AMAZING!!  Here is the recipe so you can also enjoy this deliciousness!

12 eggs
1 cup finely chopped spinach
1/2 of a medium zucchini graded
1/2 pound sausage cooked and drained

Wisk all of the ingredients together.  Spray a muffin pan with non-sticks spray and fill the cups up with your egg mixture.  Bake at 350 for approximately 15 minuets.  The freeze and reheat very well!

If you eat dairy a bit of cheese really makes it tasty as well but since that is not in the whole thirty it will have to wait until my 30 days are for cheese.  really these are so yummy I would eat them even without this challenge. 

For lunch I ate a  sandwich but not with bread with lettuce instead.... it was not satisfying at all and I had to put hummus on it to choke it down. I probably wont be eating that again.  Oh and I know hummus is considered a grain but it has never given me any digestive issues and if I am going to be eating all of these veggies  may as well enjoy them.  I am going to make my own paleo mayo tonight with extra light olive oil and an egg I post my results tomorrow as well as my dinner for tonight.  But for now even with the 3:00 ravings I am going to drink a big glass of water and eat and apple. 

Primal Momma

Well I have been doing lots of research, finding out what is okay and what's not.  Saturday will be my first day of my 30 day challenge.  I plan to make most of meals with fruits, veggies, and lean proteins.  I will however include cheese and hummus in my diet in limited quantities.  I feel like if I change my diet way to drastically at first it will make me miserable b/c I will be going through crazy withdraws.   I am pretty excited about what this change will make in my body and my mind.  I will be giving you guys what I eat and how I am feeling. I sat down today and did some meal planning for the next two weeks for breakfast and lunch.  At dinner I will be eating whatever my awesome husband fixes for dinner on adding to/leaving out the things that not compliant with my challenge.  **Side note**  My husband is pretty darn amazing and does most of the cooking in our house -----> lucky girl right here! **end side not**  Are you doing any kind of lifestyle change or challenge?  I would love to hear about what you are doing!! 

Going Prehistoric

I know that paleo seems to the new fad diet along with going gluten free.  I am not doing this because it is popular but I going to take a 30 day challenge to be paleo simply to see how it effects m health. You all know that I dieted pretty strictly for two months and combined that with exercise.   I saw no results... none.  It made me really disappointed so I have eaten pretty much whatever I wasn't since then and guess what... I haven't gained weight, it doesn't seem to matter how much or how little I eat nothing changes.  I am going to change what I eat and see what this does for me.  I am going to miss cereal, poptarts, grilled chees, really any kind of sandwich, sweet tea, and most of what my diet currently consists of.  I am going to be cutting  out everything non paleo but some cheese and small amounts of butter.
I believe that my lack of weight loss can in part be blamed on hypothyroidism. I wont be able to get my blood work done until January when our health insurance benefits kick in but thanks to Google and web MD I have a strong suspicions this is what is going with my body... here is a list of my symptoms:

I'm unable to lose weight with diet/exercise
I am constipated, sometimes severely
I feel fatigued, exhausted
Feeling run down, sluggish, lethargic
My hair is coarse and dry, breaking, brittle, falling out 
My skin is coarse, dry, scaly, and thick
I have pains, aches in joints, hands and feet 
I feel depressed
I feel restless
My moods change easily
I have difficulty concentrating
I seem to be losing interest in normal daily activities
I'm more forgetful lately
My hair is falling out
I have no sex drive
I feel shortness of breath and tightness in the chest 
My eyes get jumpy/tics in eyes, which makes me dizzy/vertigo and have headaches
I have tinnitus (ringing in ears)
I have vertigo
I feel some lightheadedness


There have several links to this style of living that suggest it can great help to relieve the symptoms of thyroidism.  I will be keeping you updated this month with my progress, the things I find hard and what I eat.

Lessons Learned At Camp

Thought I would share with you  guys a couple of things that I learned this past week at camp as the nurse. 

1. Chocolate pudding is so much better cold then it is room temperature.
2. Working air conditioning is a gift from God.
3. Teenage girls are full of so much drama that I am in endless amounts of trouble in about 10 years.
4. Actual nurses don't get paid nearly enough.
5. I should probably pray for a little more grace and a lot more patients.
6. If you page the nurse and she can hoof it all the way across campus diagnose and treat you all before the pager stops beeping (2 minutes) then you probably just wanted to press the button and didn't really need any help.

The week of camp was great, the kids we hung out with and the lessons learned were priceless.  The week was pretty rough for Alivia and I though.  She started the week out with a stomach virus and took several days to recover and  adjust to her new surroundings.  We also had several nights of no sleep simply because she was super tired.  I would defiantly go back and  plan to. 

DIY Wall Art

We have this place called the Peddlers Mall in town and you can rent out a booth out put your stuff in it and sell it, only you don't have to man the booth because everything is labeled and people just ring you up at the front.  Michael, Liv and I went to go check things out on Friday and found this awesome booth that sold a bunch of salvaged items from old houses.  We found some clapboard from an old house and were inspired!!!

Measure and Cut all the pieces to be the same length



 

We used a brad nailer to attach the clapboard to the back frame

 

I realy loved the worn paint and rustic look of the wood we got so all I did to prep the wood for painting was brush off the dirt and loose paint everything else stayed. ( I love things with a story)

 

 I used a projector to put the image I created on the board, if you are better then me I am sure you can free hand it or if you are using a smaller board there are lots of tutorials about transferring things from paper to wood.

 

I then traced over the design.  Something I learned... DONT USE A BLUE SHARPIE!!  The color will bleed through and it takes like 8 coats to cover, black however doesn't do this.

 

I then painted it with a white acrylic craft paint in a gloss because I liked the idea of old meeting new.

Summer Bum!!

Hey guys, I know it's been a while right!!!   Just to give you an idea of what my last few weeks have been like: we had a week of preparing for Vacation Bible School, then a week of VBS, then I left and went to Virginia to visit with my bestie for a week and meet her amazing-ly cute little boy Tiernan, I got the privilege of hanging out with some of Alivia's cousins for a couple days.  Since all of that I have been afraid of the scale the kind of afraid that gives you nightmares.  After eating out pretty much for the whole week before VBS and the most of the week of VBS and eating in the car for 8 hours to keep myself awake on the way to and from VA I was in no hurry to weigh in.... oh and did I mention that I didn't exercise... AT ALL.  Okay well I walked around DC at the National Zoo and went for a couple of slow paced mile long walks with Bethany but nothing like what I was doing before summer really got here.  Well I finally did I weighed in and I weigh less then I did when I started this whole thing!! WIN!  It may not be much less but less is better then more!!  I weighed in at 255.4 this morning!    Now that I have updated you all on my weight here are a couple colleges of what we have been up to the last few weeks!!!

Kingdom Rock VBS 2013

 

Freedom Aquatic Center

 

Potomac River

 

National Zoo

 

Spending Time With Cousins

 

 

 

Weigh in Week Four

This week has been really good as far as my diet is going and I have logged a ton of miles.  I even beat my own personal record for pace time yesterday on my walk.  I still haven’t lost any weight but I did see a difference in my inches this week which is promising.  The weather here in Ohio has been awesome.  It has been nice in cool in the morning and it has made my walks really enjoyable.  It scares me at the same time though.  if I can watch my diet and exercise while I am spending my days like normal and the weather is cool and still not lose weight what will it be like when I start traveling this summer.  I have a week planned at Bethany’s house and a week of summer camp that I will have to contend with as well as humid July weather.  What will those weeks do to my regime?   I guess I will have to deal with it as it comes and do as much as I can to prevent any gains!!  Well this is what this week’s measurements looks like:

Bust: 49 in (-2 in.)

Waist 51 in

Hips: 54 in.

Arm: 15in.

Thigh: 29 (-4 in. total)

Weight: 256.8

Of course the boobs are the first to go… really though I was wearing a sports bra so I don’t think I actually lost and inches they were just a little smushed.  I have lost about 4 inches in my thighs though and that is real measurement which is pretty awesome I guess the walking is toning the legs if nothing else.   Here are my pictures for this week!

Summer Schedule and Puppy Dog Tails

Today I sat down and made a schedule of sorts for our summer.  I want to keep Alivia busy and engaged. I am also watching a 7 year little boy this summer that I would like to keep happy and busy.  I have a confession… I have no idea what little boys like.  The only thing I know about little boys is that they are supposedly made of “snips and snails and puppy dog tails”.  Though this schedule is for the kids it very much for me also.  I work better with a plan.  I am more likely to accomplish things and less likely to be stressed out.  Our weekly schedule is going to look a little something like this:

 

Monday: Story Time

Tuesday: Create Something

Wednesday: Pool Day

Thursday: Field Trip

Friday: Cleaning Day

 

I am big fan of free things!!  I am working on a really tight budget this summer because I am not working “full time”.  (our family budget plan and organizing coming soon)  So most of what we are planning are free or for a much reduced price.  The pool is free (thanks to some awesome friends), our field trips are free (yeah for zoo passes!!) or under $5.00 a person, we have the local library that already has an awesome (free) story time and book reading program for us to take advantage of, and the crafty day will be since experiments and art projects we can do at home with things we already have at home!!! I will share with you some of our science experiments and crafts throughout the summer and any of the fun free things I find to do around the area. 

Weigh in Week Three

So I know I am late on my weigh in for this week but there is truly nothing to report.  There has been no change up or down.  HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE!?!?!?!??!!? Do you have any ideas or suggestions?  I have talked to a few friends who have gone through this journey and they said that they upped their calories and saw results.  Others have said that I am eating the wrong the kinds of food, food with too many sugars and fats.  Well thankfully the My Fitness Pal App tracks those things and for the number of calories I consume each day I stay within the suggested limits for all of the values.  Other people have said that maybe I actually have a medical problem, something that needs to be treated with medication, perhaps a thyroid issue.  I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to blame being a fatty on something that is out of my control but alas I have no symptoms of any greater health issue.  So I am not going to be sharing a photo because there has been no change.  On the upside of all of this I have logged another 17.46 mils on my Nikes this week.  I will prevail and I will get healthy.   Next Monday I will start training with a personal trainer once a week alongside one of my good friends in addition to my walking.  I’m not sure what approach I will take with my diet yet.  If you have any in site on what I am doing wrong or right or have any ideas why I am not losing weight I would love to hear it.  At this point I am willing to try anything.

On another note I have some fun blog posts coming about summer plans and family budgeting and menu planning.  Maybe I will come up with a few fun weekly features who knows!!

The Cursed Bandwagon

I need to be honest… I may have fallen off the band wagon this long weekend.  Friday I counted my calories and went for my walk and finished just slightly above my goal in calories if you don’t count my exercise into that equation.  Saturday we had a meeting for VBS and went yard sale-ing at a large community yard sale, while I didn’t do my mapped walked I did get a good bit of walking in.  My calorie intake on Saturday was a little above my goal again. Sunday I did not get any exercise in at all but I ate well and stayed under my calorie goal.  Today was a bad bad day for the whole let’s be healthy thing.  We had great day with friends though.  We had a cook out with our closest friends from church and enjoyed some time hanging out and talking. Everyone brought something delish to share and we had a feast.  I ate some of everything and more of some things.  I couldn’t even tell you really how much I ate of anything.  Yeah that’s bad I know.  But I did exercise.  I went for a quick family bike ride and enjoyed the finish of our day.  Here are a few pictures of our day!!

Weigh in Week Two

I have been at this for a whole week now; I have walked every single day and counted every calorie that has entered my mouth.  My Nikes have logged 15.29 miles since 5/17/1013.  I have been doing my best to drink enough water and I have also introduced probiotics to my diet. 

 

Bust: 51 in

Waist 51 in

Hips: 54 in.

Arm: 15in.

Thigh: 31in (-2 in.)

Weight: 256.8

 

There have been no major changes to my body yet but I am feeling so much better.  I have more energy and a much better attitude (hooray for endorphins).  My muscles are no longer protesting nearly as much.  I am finding I am really enjoying my time out walking the trail and watching how excited Alivia gets to go out with me.    I am getting more endurance every day and walking farther.  I am going to give it another week at my new calorie levels (2,000 for those who missed my “Let’s do the Math” post) and if nothing changes then my calorie intake will change.  I am slightly discouraged, not gonna lie. Here are my pictures for this week in my awesome new workout gear!

And here a few fun pics of me and Liv from our walk today... The faces were her idea

What are you Wearing?

Alright friends let’s talk about what we wear when we work out.  I never thought much about the clothes I wore to get sweaty and gross in other than I wanted them to light weight and easy to move in and usually big and baggy simply because if I feel crappy enough about the way I look to work out then I definitely don’t want anything I am going to have feel skinny in!!!  I never put much stock in the clothes that were supposed to wick away moisture, I figured you were going to sweat either way and by the end of a good work out you would be gross. 

Well….I WAS WRONG!!! 

What you wear has everything to do with your workout.  The clothes that are designed for working out are amazing for working out!!   It was a lovely 80 degrees yesterday and I walked 3 and ½ miles without feeling disgusting, I didn’t feel the need to stop and take a breather or the overwhelming feeling that my clothes were weighing me down.  I felt cool and comfortable.  to top it off it makes me feel a little more athletic and kind of cute!! 

You should truly consider investing in some proper clothes if you plan on sticking it out with the exercise. My husband I am are always working on a tight budget and I know that these extras are expensive but you don’t have to go and buy under armor I got my stuff from Wal-Mart and couldn’t be happier with how well it worked!   I got three shirts for $3.00 each (thank you clearance rack) and two pairs of capris for about $12.00 apiece.  I know I am probably the only person who didn’t know this already but just in case there are any fellow fatties out there I thought I would share my amazing revelation about work clothes!!

Green

Green is my favorite color (just about any shade).  Green is another name for money.  Green is a way of life the helps keep the earth clean.  Green is the color of food I should be eating!  I am going to talk about two of those things today. 

Being a Christian I believe we called to be good swards of the earth.  It was gift God created for us to live in and we should treat it with respect and love.  Now I am not a crazy tree hugging, burlap wearing, all organic eating, earth loving person but I do try to do things that are earth friendly.  We buy the compact florescent bulbs that use less energy, and try to buy natural and organic food when our budget allows, we reuse and repurpose everything we can, and we also try to use things until they are literally worn out.  We donate things instead of throwing them out.  One of the benefits of being green  is that you find a little more green in your wallet at the end of the day… always a plus right!?!?  Well today I tried out a few new “green” cleaners with amazing result!! 

The first thing on my list was a use anywhere on anything around the kids type of cleaner.  Let me tell you it cleaned up peanut butter smeared all over my dinning room table without a greasy residue, after that I was sold.  Would you like to know how to make it?  Yeah I thought so so here is my recipe:

1/2 tsp dish soap

1 tsp baking soda

2 tbsp white vinegar

2 cups water

3 drops essential oil

Gently mix it up in a spray bottle  spray the surface, wipe down, with a cloth and go on your marry way.  (to be really green you could rescue an empty bottle of cleaner and properly relabel it)

Second was a toilet cleaner, those are some of my least favorite chemicals to use because they are so harsh and terrible smelling!  I loved the results with my greener cleaner and it did not require copious amounts of ventilation.  Here is the recipe:

¼ c white vinegar with 10 drops of essential oils added

 (the oil simply helps the vinegar to smell fresh and less vinegary if the small doesn’t bother you then by all mean skip the oils!!)

 

½ c baking soda

Sprinkle the baking soda in the toilet add the vinegar mixture and scrub with a toilet brush!! Great, quick, clean results!

The third one I tried out was a floor cleaner!!  This recipe is for a bucket of water but I made up two batches of, it store it in a container and just put a tablespoon into my libman spray mop with warm water. 

1/4 cup dish soap

1/4 cup white vinegar

1/4 cup lemon juice

10 drops essential oil

{add to bucket of hot water}

 

Leave a comment and let me know what you do in your house to be a little greener and be a good steward of the gift God gave us. 

Let's Do Some Math

This whole weight loss thing isn’t just about being skinnier.  I want to be a healthier person.  I have been doing some research after looking at the scale and doing some reading.  I was curious to see just how many calories my body would burn if I did nothing but lay around all day.  I found out some interesting information.  Every pound of fat is worth about 3,500 calories.   Everyone has a BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) which is how many calories your body burns simply by keeping your heart pumping, digesting the food you eat, and filling your lungs with air.  My BMR is somewhere around 2,100 calories.  Depending on the site you go to you will get different answers so I did a few and averaged it.  Everyone all has a TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) which is how many calories your body burns by keeping you alive and helping you with your daily activities such as walking around ect…   My TDEE is about 3,000 calories when you add in my daily walks. 

 

Now that I know this information I think I will be upping my daily calorie intake just a bit.  If my body burns 2,100 calories by living then eating only 1,500 calories is not enough fuel to keep my body breathing which means that it will not be likely to let go of any extra fat I have hanging around.  My body will become just like one of those people on hoarders.  It’s not a pretty sight!! 

 

Let’s do some math… If one pound of fat is 3,500 calories then I need to eat that many calories less a week to lose one pound a week.  If I eat only my BMR (2,100 calories) each day and I know that my TDEE is 3,000 calories then I am eating 900 calories less than my body burns each day.  That makes my grand total of burned calories each week (7days) 6,300.  That should be a 2 pound weight loss each week.  That is what I’m talking about!!  Now add in some exercise and I should see real results!!

DUH! And a Day of Rest

 

Today Michael, Alivia and I went to Butler Springs Christian Camp for their annual open house.  I ate terrible.  I ate like a normal person.  I had Special K cereal with skim milk for breakfast, lunch was on the run and I had a quarter pounder meal with a large sweet tea from McDonald's, dinner was a hotdog with bun chips and a two scoops of blue moo cookie dough ice cream from UDF (I figured if I was being bad why not just be bad all way).  Oh and I can't forget I didn't take a walk today.  I did walk at a leisurely pace around the camp but nothing like what I normally would do.  I have come to the conclusion that it is no wonder I'm a fatty.  I had one of those oh duh moments!!! I ate like that on a semi regular basis taking in that many calories.   They add up really fast when you aren't thinking about it.  Here is a screen shot of my completed entry in my fitness pal for today.... Uhg!!! 

Tomorrow will better... It has to be. Here are a few shots of our family fun!! 

New Workout Clothes and Motivation

We took a 3 mile family walk this morning. Michael tried to kill me with a crazy huge death hill first thing off but the rest of the walk was very enjoyable.  There is this really great bike/walking trail that runs right next to my house and I love love love to walk there.  I have seen all kinds of local  wild life.  Alivia more often than not walks rides along with me on walks, when we walk along the trail if she decides she wants to get out she run, walk, skip and explore without me having to worry about her getting hit by a car.  I hope that by walking on the trail where she has the opportunity do these things she will love coming with me and I will be able to instill in her the importance of exercise and being healthy, it will become a part of daily life and she will never find herself where I have found myself.  She is my motivation. 

 

My sweet husband also decided that some new workout clothes would help me stay motivated.  I think mostly he didn’t want to see me running around in baggy old t-shirts and more though.  Whatever the reason I really appreciate his support. 

 

Who is your support, and motivation?  What makes you get off the couch or track everything that goes into your mouth?

Weigh in Week One

So today is the day that I get down and dirty and share with you my measurements.  Yeah, not so excited about that at all, my husband doesn’t even know how much I weigh.   Yet I find myself sharing with you these tid bits of information.  Deep breath…. And…. AHHHHHHHHHH.  Okay here I  go.

 

Bust: 49 in.

Waist: 51 in.

Hips: 54 in.

Arm: 15 in.

Thigh: 33 in.

Weight: 256.4

 

Okay so these are the last time you are going to see those numbers on this screen…EVER!   (as long as I don’t go on a starving binge like today and eat half of my days allowance of calories in one meal…. uhg new habits are hard to make)

 

I guess I will give you the 411 on what I am doing and not doing as far as weight loss.  I am using the My Fitness Pal app to track my calories, water and exercise.  I am using the Map My Walk app to track my speed, distance, and calories burned.  I am trying to eat somewhere around 1,500 calories a day give or take.  I eat more on days that I burn more.  I am trying to walk daily increasing my distance each day and my pace.  Oh yeah and I guess as promised here is my official before shot. 

A Flaire for the Dramatic

Now that Alivia is old enough to play pretend I really enjoy listening to the things that she comes up with.    Today she was playing with Luc in the house area of our play room.  The baby they were playing with was apparently being very very naughty.   They kept tell her no, and not nice, and placing her in time out.  It then escalated to spanking the baby I sat and watched and listened for a while.  Eventually I asked them to please use kind words and be nice to the baby.  But soon enough everything went back to the way of the dramatic.  I know at their age much of what they see they mirror in play.   I wonder how Alivia sees her relationship with me?  Does she see me as only the person who disciplines and fusses at her?  I know that cannot be completely true because I am the first person she calls for when she has fallen down and hurt herself.  I also am the preferred person to snuggle up with on the couch.  My thoughts then wonder if maybe we as humans just run towards the dramatic.  Is it part of our sin nature?  Is a story still a great story if there is only happy?  Would the three little pigs be a frequently told story if there was no big bad wolf?  What about Goldie Locks?  What if she woke up and left house before the bears ever got home?  Just some thoughts.

I seem to be doing battle with myself daily.  Some things are worth the fight some are not and I usually end up loosing the battle any way so why fight?  I am naturally proned to be bigger than anyone else.  I always have been.  I was 5’5” in the fifth grade and wearing ladies clothing.  I have always had a poor self-image and felt like I stuck out no matter what I did so why even bother trying to be like everyone else?  Well now it has nothing to do with fitting in or being like everyone else it now has to do with my family.  Michael and I want to have another kid when we have insurance.  While I was pregnant with Alivia I always had borderline high blood pressure and was watched very very closely my entire pregnancy with two overnight stays to be monitored.  I was eventually induced on my due date because my doctor thought it would be better to safe than sorry.  Well my induction led to almost 24 hours of labor and a C section afterwards.  Which lead to postpartum complications, which lead to a longer hospital stay, which lead to a whole slew of problems which lead to difficulties being a mom. I WANT TO AVOID ALL OF THAT!  I am starting my journey to become a better mom. I want to be the kind of mom that is able to chase my kids and play at the park with them and walk around the zoo all day.  I will be doing a weekly weigh in and picture, talking about my journey and just sharing my life.  As of right now I am watching my calorie intake and trying to exercise daily.  My ultimate goal is lose 100 pounds total.   But right now I am just looking to get my body healthy and happy.